Repent, Repent!

Repent: to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; to be penitent, contrite, remorseful.

God created us out of love, and we screwed it up by wanting more than that; by wanting more than perfection. For several thousand years afterwards, we spat in His eye - actively pursuing our own desires and cravings and even creating other gods in case He turned out to be bogus.

I do not believe that God requires my repentance in order for Him to love me - He requires nothing of me in exchange for His love. I can never be good enough or sorry enough or ashamed enough to earn His love, nor is His love for me predicated on what I do or do not believe. God does not love Christians more than He loves anybody else, despite what many Christians may think. He loves everyone equally, despite our region or beliefs or proclivities. He loves every man, woman and child on this earth equally - He hates no one.

He loves us SO much that He established a way for us to be reconciled to Him, despite our selfish and repugnant state. He loves us no matter what, but we cannot be with Him, either now or in the hereafter, if we deliberately and unabashedly prefer our sin over His love. This, I believe, is what is meant by "unrepentance".

(Note -  I believe that to construe the condemnation of sin as a condemnation of the sinner is misguided and prejudicial. It is the sin that He ultimately cannot abide - not the sinner. And, to be clear, we are all sinners - not one of us is righteous. NOT ONE. Not Billy Graham, not Mother Theresa, not any of the popes or apostles or monks, NOT ANYBODY.)

So, because He loved His creation so darn much and He wants to be with us all day, every day, from now and throughout forever, He created a man, who was not just any man, but the incarnate Son of God. This "man" took my well-deserved, hard-earned beating and as a result has made me acceptable and clean in God's sight.

Am I sinless because I am a Christian? NO! But I am excruciatingly aware of my sin and it grieves me to do things that grieve Him. I do believe that Jesus paid my tab and I will not face the endless damnation of my soul, even though that is exactly what my humanness deserves. Not to be too gross, but I continue to "soil" myself on a daily basis with my sin; it is my acceptance of the truth of Christ's death and resurrection which restores me to right relationship with God the Father.

I believe that this is the nature of repentance; the awareness of my spiritual poverty in the face of the compulsion to grow closer to God. Not just in hopes of the hereafter, but in my day-to-day activity. But since God abhors sin (mine and yours and everybody else's), I cannot take my sin and go plop down beside Him saying "well, this is just how I am."

I also believe that repentance is a "one-day-at-a-time" activity, wherein I ask God in the morning to help me be steadfast and sober. At night, I confess to Him my day's sins, to the best of my ability, and I thank Him for the blessing of His forgiveness. And then I get up and do it all over again the next day.

Repentance is not an exercise in guilt or self-pity; it is a fact-facing event where we make an informed, heartfelt decision. I either want to be who He created me to be – or I don’t. He will love me even if I don’t – but if that’s my decision, then I can’t be with Him today or tomorrow or in eternity.

　

Thus, I repent.