"I don't know, sweetie. I'm not very high maintenance - I don't really need anything", says he.
Immediately I cringe - I usually give him a prioritized roster of a dozen things I want for my birthday in November, and I ensure that he has this list before Labor Day so he has plenty of time to meet my expectations. High maintenance...well, the shoe DOES fit...but I don't think he was taking a swing at me.
Because he really ISN'T high maintenance, not at all. I've never known anyone whose wants are as simple as his. Over the years, the fifteen Christmases and birthdays that we've shared thus far, I've racked my brain to come up with something, ANYTHING, that would give him great surprise and delight upon peeling back the wrapping and discovering the contents therein. I think I got close with his iPad, and the Star Trek pizza cutter and Captain Kirk Pez dispenser made him laugh, but other than that, years' worth of new shirts and socks and slippers and DVDs have been all I could think of.
So today is his birthday, and again I find myself verklempt, giftless and confused. It isn't that I forgot - I've been puzzling for weeks - but I'm a tad self-centered (ok, more than a tad), and then it sneaked up on me and hammered home last night that I still don't have anything to give him. I'm tempted to run out right now and buy him something, anything, just so he will get to rip open a present and we can both pretend that it's exactly what he wanted.
Why is this so hard? What is UP with someone who really doesn't need or want anything?
In the wee hours of this morning, I was lying there, maximizing my shame for not having an awesome gift for him. I pondered our history together and everything I know about him. It was sixteen years ago in May that I first met him on AOL (we were pioneers in the e-hookup department) - he in rural Kansas, me in east Tennessee - both waiting and looking and hoping for the partner that God had chosen for us.
You'd think, after sixteen years, I would know what he wants. If I could just figure it out, I would get it for him right this red-hot minute.
Something has dawned on me though, and I have an inkling of why I have trouble understanding. You see, my favorite gift is MORE, and it is to my chagrin that I am rarely entirely satisfied with what I have. I want stuff - more, better, newer, different - but still STUFF that just ends up empty or eventually at Goodwill.
The Mister's wants are:
- a family
- a home
- a church where he can study and serve God
- a small group of dear and unconditional friends
- a wife who loves him completely, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as we live
- and lunch at Red Robin.
Maybe I've got him covered, after all.
(But I'm still going to start saving for the Harley.)
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