My ballot arrived in the mail last Monday and has been sitting on the kitchen table ever since. I've walked past it every day, telling myself, "I've got to take care of that today".
What I really mean is "make a decision already, you can't waffle forever".
I frequently feel insulted by my Facebook friends who openly loathe Republicans in writing - for I am a registered Republican. I am a fiscally conservative social moderate from the now-ancient era of "big tent" tolerance with a sincere sense of social responsibility, gender equality, gay rights, women's rights and anti racism.
I don't see anyone on this ballot who represents me - like other recent elections, I'm forced to choose the lesser of two evils. Which ticket should I vote against? That's the choice I've been given.
I posted on Facebook earlier this year about my disappointment in the Republican Party - that the party defaulted to the incumbent instead of allowing us to choose who would run on the Republican ticket. Long before he ever held public office, I thought DJT was a cartoon, a parody of rich white man extremism.
Granted, I was probably naive to think that there would be an actual contest to determine the GOP's nomination, but that was my hope.
I was derided by friends on both sides of the aisle for that post. Some Democrat friends criticized me for coming out as a Republican, and some members of the GOP blasted me for not falling in line with the party faithful in supporting Mr. Trump. Although I want to believe that the goal was not to hurt me, one family friend said "your father is turning over in his grave". That brings angry tears to my eyes even now - the last thing Dad would've done is to shame me, particularly not for just wishing aloud that we had a choice.
Joe Biden seems fairly inoffensive; I can't say that about Donald Trump. But I also can't say that about Kamala Harris or Mike Pence. Within the first five minutes of the VP debate, she was sneering and rolling her eyes at her opponent - openly hostile and demonstrably rude. Yet Pence's behavior wasn't much better - he talked over her regularly, interrupting both her and the moderator. I'm probably old fashioned in this regard, but I would expect a certain degree of mutual respect in a debate forum. Whatever you think of someone's talking points, that person has busted their ass to earn the right to be there, sitting across from you and expressing their position. Neither ticket has any respect for the other one - it makes me sick.
I would also expect both candidates to respect the moderator's authority and the clearly articulated and mutually accepted terms for time to speak. So far NOBODY has done that, although I think the GOP candidates have been worse offenders than the Dems in that regard. Seriously, the two debates we've had thus far are one step above a train wreck - and we can't just look away.
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Last week I got a bill in the mail - it said "Statement Enclosed" on the outside of the envelope. Yet in the upper left hand corner, the return address was Donald J. Trump, The White House - with his name in ridiculously oversized font. Thanks to my official affiliation with the party, I have gotten plenty of fundraising requests over the last 6 months or so... but this was a bill, an invoice for monies due, plain and simple.
So let me get this straight. Because I profess to be a Republican, I am getting a bill for $45 because my name isn't on a list he received?
A bill. Because there's a list and he's "extremely shocked" to find my name missing from those of his dedicated friends.
What to do, what to do. I would vote for Biden but he's older than dirt and I don't believe Kamala Harris has an iota of conservatism in her body. Small government, people. Big government promulgates itself to the point where we have to have job furloughs and borrow money from other countries just to keep the lights on - the bigger the government, the greater the debt.
But Trump sent me a bill along with a letter that expresses his personal disappointment in me but also clearly demonstrates hyperbolic hysteria and a complete lack of self-awareness. Buddy, I wouldn't give you forty-five cents. And Pence is so meh - it feels like voting for drywall.
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But I HAVE to vote. I HAVE to make a decision. I can't ignore it, I can't just accidentally forget to do it. Talk about my daddy turning over in his grave, not to mention my mother and all the grandparents.
I'm giving some thought to writing in Condi Rice or Nikki Haley or Ben Carson. I would've written in Herman Cain in a heartbeat but he had to up and die before I had the chance.
Or maybe I'll just go with my gut - Dolly Parton 2020 !!
